A Trip To Hell IV

A TRIP TO HELL 4
"To Breathe And To Mourn"
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  To Breathe And To Mourn

...I kicked Tony away. I cannot comprehend the fact that Irene is gone. I pulled away. Everyone seems to be focusing on me now.
"What's your own sef?", Banle interferes. "You are just here shouting, do you know the type of death that will still kill you? Are you here because of Irene?" I stare at him angrily. If only he knows how right he is - I am here because of her. I try to fight back my tears. My face still red and hard, I felt like having a gun and just killing Banle now. He looks even more ugly and repulsive to me now. He is barely as tall as my shoulders and his very dark complexion makes him look like a goat on two legs. He also has a very sick sense of fashion - wearing an oversized striped shirt on an oversized striped pair of trousers. I hate him. I hate everyone here. How could Irene not have meant so much to them? I look at Tony. "She can't be dead". Tony stares at me pitifully. He walks forward and embraces me. My tears flow the more. She can't be dead, Tony", I repeat. "Maybe she got lost or something. I should go find her." "Are you stupid?" Banle yells at me, "go and find her na, idiot. Go and kill yourself because of a woman" I cannot hold my rage again. I rush at Banle and deal two heavy blows on his cheek. He staggers back as he seems caught unawares. He checks his lips. He is bleeding already. He charges towards me but the others interfere as they hold him back -luckily for me. Banle roars in fury as he stares at me. I can only imagine my fate if he was not held back. "If I don't kill you with these hands, let thunder strike me dead". His eyes mean the threat. I wonder if it is safe for me to remain here. "Guys calm down", Tony steps in. "There are just six of us left out of fourteen now! We have to stick together!" Silence. We all are all panting "Mark my words", Banle adds. He is not bragging. I can see that.

Michael groans. The pain seems to be biting into him now. All our attention turns on him. "We have to treat his wound" someone advises. "Let's get into the bush and see what we can find". Tony suggests. "I'll stay here with him". I volunteered. Partly because I'm starting to get scared of Banle. The others agree. Four of them walked deeper into the bush, leaving me with Michael. I took a seat beside him. We just stared silently. He groans again. "Sorry", I muttered. "Thanks", he stares at me for a second. "And sorry about the girl". The thought of Irene gushes back into my consciousness. I look at him, not knowing what to say. "You're in love with her, right?" I still don't know what to say. I just smile at him. Then I nod. He continues "then the best you can do for her is pray she's dead". I'm shocked. But he's right. It is best now of she is dead. Until now, I have never imagined the other possibilities. If those beasts captured her alive... I break my thoughts. No. I won't imagine this.

I decided to distract myself by talking to Michael "Do you have a girlfriend?" He smiles. He looks so innocent. "No", he answers. "I don't have a girlfriend. They are countless" "Really?" I'm really surprised to hear this. "When you have money, girls are as easy as air" I stared at him. Thinking of what next to ask when... He reaches into his pocket and brings out a bale of money. One thousand Naira notes. "Here", he says as he hands the money over to me. "A hundred thousand. That's for saving my ass". I stare at him, confused. "Where did you get this from?" "My dad's wardrobe" "You stole it?" "You ask too many questions. Just take". I hesitate. "Don't worry. I have more for myself". I collected the money. I'm not sure I've ever had ten percent of it for myself but I'd have appreciated it better if it was out this nameless forest. 

I put the money into my pocket and returned my attention to Michael. He is already dozing. I decide not to bother him any further. I just stare at him. He looks so innocent, yet I'm beginning to find him a very complicated and mysterious person. I don't even know whether to trust him or not. Michael finally lies on the ground and sleeps. I rose and walked up about five yards further. I sat and stared into the forest. I stared hard and thought of Irene. As if I expect her to walk out of this bush to me and say she had been lost. I wished I had some superpowers to bring her back. I remember seeing her last when she ran out with us through that window at the Cathedral. And then I remembered... Oh! I remembered someone fell beside me just before we ran into the bush. God! I don't want to think about it again. I want to shut my mind. I want to try not to regret coming on this trip. But can I help it? I heard a sound behind me. I turn. The others are back with some leaves with them. "He's asleep?", Joseph ask, as if he was blind. I do not answer. They all took their seats. "O boy, me sef wan sleep o", Banle grumbles. "Not only you". Sister Sarah adds.

Tony stares at them. "Okay guys, you may all take a nap. I'll keep watch". Tony stares at me. The other three are already lying in the ground. Tony walks towards him. I stared at him. Tony is the one person closest to me in this trip. He has been one of my best friends for years. The rest are either acquaintances or strangers. My eyes are still fixed on him. I wonder if he has always had these gladiator leader instincts. He is almost as tall as I am, but his broad chest and muscular body sets us apart -,yet I've not just pictured him in this role until now. "You should sleep too", he suggests as he takes a seat beside me. "I'm fine" He looks at me. He says nothing more but his face seems to be saying something "I'm sorry I made a scene with Banle". I quickly add. "I was just..." I sighed. "I don't know". I don't want to think about Irene again. "Banle's sister was one of those that died in the bus". That hit me big. I had never imagined there could be siblings among us. I now understand the reason behind his violent reaction. I'd probably have done worse. I felt stupid for being insensitive to his plight. Tony seems to read my thoughts. "I know you didn't know". He smiled wryly at me "you should sleep", he says again. "I'm not sleepy really. My eyes are just clear like a sunny day" "Well maybe I take the time to take a short nap then." He begins to lie on the ground "abeg wake me when you feeling sleepy".

Two minutes later, he is asleep. Poor dude. I wondered how many times he had pretended to be fine when he's not. That's what leaders are made of, I guess. I wonder how far we would have gone without him. We'd most probably not had made it
past the barricade yesterday. "Thank you Tony". I whispered to no one.

Soon I began to feel lonely. I don't even know what I'm watching out for. Could the terrorists really have followed us into this forest? I hope not. Where do we even run again? I closed my eyes tight and still wished all these were one long terrible dream. I opened the eyes again. They want to close again. I held them. I think I'm starting to feel sleepy. I began to doze... soon I slept off.

I suddenly felt a hand covering my mouth. I stir awake. The hand is familiar now. Tony. This is starting to happen too often I now know the smell of his palm. Oh! I had forgotten to wake him before I slept. "Shhhhh" he motions me to be quiet. "I think they've found us. Those men" I'm beginning to tremble. He whispers to me "we fight to death bro, don’t get captured alive. Trust me"

-Michael Adejonwo