Renewing Your Marital Relationship II
Pastor Faith Oyedepo
Dear Reader,
I welcome you to another edition of our series on Renewing Your Marital Relationship. Last week, we were made to understand that one of the things to do to renew your marital relationship is, having the right expectation. This week, by the enabling power of the Holy Spirit, we shall examine the topic: How to Build Strong Intimacy in Marriage.
It is the responsibility of the man and his wife to build and develop a strong and healthy intimacy in their marriage; because intimacy is the pillar of every successful marriage. A loving and joyful marriage is one in which both partners are intimate with each other. Intimacy is crucial for strong family and marital relationships.
Intimacy means a warm, close, confidential or private relationship, which develops through long association, friendship and familiarity. Many couples wistfully remember the sweet, innocent times before marriage, when they were so interested in each other. When we talk about intimacy in marriage, it is that warm, close, confidential or private relationship between husband and wife.
When we talk about intimacy, a woman or man should be the most intimate person with their spouse. They should be best of friends. Neither of them should be as close to anyone else as they are to each other. Intimacy indicates the deepest level of privacy that one can think of. It is what makes marriage successful and enjoyable.
Without intimacy, marriage becomes horrible, cold and lonely. Intimacy in marriage needs to be promoted, for the marriage to remain enjoyable and last a lifetime.
God has commanded that the husband cleave to or cherish his wife. He is expected to spend time with her to ‘know’ her more. For intimacy to be developed in marriage, both husband and wife should depart from all forms of interferences and cleave to one another to enable them become one flesh. God’s Word says: For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church (Ephesians 5:31-32). Therefore, you must “leave” so that you can “cleave.” When you do, you are sure to enjoy intimacy in marriage.
HOW TO ENHANCE INTIMACY
You Must be Open
To be intimate with your spouse, there must be no hide and seek game. You must be ready to open up to your spouse, so as to earn his/her trust.
Embrace Trust
Trust is an essential ingredient in our daily living. The very essence of life depends on trust. A marriage cannot survive without trust. Trust is not a gift; rather, it is a virtue that must be built through experience over a period of time. Trust is reciprocal. The more you express your trust, the more your spouse responds to you in trust. You must endeavour to believe in your spouse.
Be faithful
To enhance intimacy in your marriage, you must be faithful to your spouse. Learn to keep secrets concerning everything your spouse tells you (Proverbs 28:20).
Express Love
Be willing to express your love to your spouse, more than anyone else. Let your spouse be your close confidant. Communicate and discuss issues with your spouse.
Be A Good Listener & Communicator
You must be a good listener. When your spouse is talking, you must not be too busy to listen to him or her. Be ready to listen, discuss and make contributions as well. Engage in an open communication. Open communication is the ability to discuss anything with your spouse. It includes sincere expression of thoughts, feelings, as well as careful listening.
Be Available
You must be willing to make yourself available to your spouse, whenever he/she needs you. No matter how choked up you are in activities, you must create room for him/her, by making yourself available. Learn to spend quality time with your spouse. Engage in fun activities like, taking a stroll together, playing games etc. (Songs of Solomon 2:4).
You Must be Caring
You must be ready to express a genuine concern for your spouse’s well-being. If you do things you know hurt your spouse, you cannot have a healthy intimacy. You can develop a more caring heart and mind, by learning to think of your spouse’s feelings before yours. Always ask yourself before acting or speaking, “If I do this or say this, will I hurt my spouse?”
BENEFITS OF INTIMACY
- It brings about unity, which promotes God’s presence and blessings in a marriage. The Bible says: Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity (Psalms 133:1).
- It brings about free flow of communication (Proverbs 27:19).
- It promotes longevity in a marriage (Proverbs 31:11).
- It makes marriage more enjoyable (Isaiah 62:5).
- It brings about greater spiritual strength (Ecclesiastes 4:9-12).
If you prayed this simple prayer, congratulations, you are born again and you are now a child of God! He loves you and will never leave you. Read your Bible daily, obey God’s Word and seek Christian fellowship (John 14:21).
With this, you are guaranteed all-round rest and peace in Jesus’ Name! Call or write, and share your testimonies with me through contact@faithoyedepo.org; OR 07026385437 and 08141320204.
For more insight, these books authored by me are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian bookstores: Marriage Covenant, Making Marriage Work, Building A Successful Home and Success in Marriage (Co-Authored)